Apparently Subway does this every year around Tax Day. (Which is not quite yet, thank goodness, because my accountant is supposed to call to set up our final appointment this afternoon.)
That new egg and bacon sandwich looked intriguing, so I thought I'd mosey over to Subway for breakfast, try it, and wind up with enough food to last the weekend. I love their tuna sandwich! (Sorry, Jared.)
I set off with Kindle to drive to Mebane, the nearest town. Why the Kindle? Because I get zero reception at my house—yes, with cells, too—and had two books to download. So I get to north Mebane's tiny strip mall, turn on the Kindle. Zip! Both books are there in instants. Then I get out of the car to make my way to the Subway.
There's a sign on the door: "BOGO will end at 2:00 on the dot!" Okay, that's fine with me, but too bad for the dinner crowd. I didn't recall Subway advertising that their huge BOGO event would be less than a full operating day.
Opened the door. Whoops. Didn't open the door. It was still securely locked. I checked the store's operating hours. 8 AM to 10 PM. It was then 8:30 AM. Finally caught the eye of the girl inside, who was bustling about attending to her bread. I pointed at the door, at the operating hours chart. She shook her head and went back to her bread.
Hunh. Well, I could go over to Waffle House, but I'd planned that as a treat for when the taxes are actually done. That is, if I have any money left to go to the Waffle House. Don't you love their Fiesta Omelet? Decided instead to hit the Subway at the new outlet mall.
As I arrived, I wondered what I'd been thinking. The outlet mall wouldn't open until 10, would it? Who shows up at an outlet mall before 10? There was the Subway the next major street over, but they never had unsweet tea. If I'd been awake, I might have recalled that the Mebane Wally World has a Subway in it, but I might not have, as I'm used to the Hillsborough Walmart, which has a mini-McDonalds.
But I could see the "open" sign from the street, so I stopped. At their front door the sign said: "BOGO will run from 5 PM - 8 PM ONLY!!! At 8:01, no BOGO will be honored."
I went inside. "Does every Subway have a different BOGO schedule?" I asked the guy behind the counter.
"Just us. The other four shops in town [turns out there's another one downtown] all run until 2."
I told him about the one I'd just been to, that hadn't been opened though they were supposed to have been.
"Oh yeah. We have to put those hours on our sign or they won't let us operate. We have to say we're open for 12 [I think it was 12. Could have been 14.] hours a day."
"What? You're saying the operating hours sign was a lie?"
"Oh, yeah. That's just for legalities. They open at 9, not 8."
Sheesh. Well, I was determined not to waste any more gas driving around in search of a Subway that might possibly be open and might be observing holy BOGO, so I just ordered a 6-inch bacon and egg flatbread.
Note: It's nice. You get a choice of regular eggs or egg whites. I chose to have them sprinkle salt over it (figuring the offer for such meant that the eggs hadn't been seasoned, and forgetting about the presence of bacon), so it was a little salty, but otherwise all right.
I ordered a meal. I mean, macadamia cookies would calm me during the huge storms we're supposed to get this afternoon. I gave my card to the guy and it didn't work. "It's not the card, it's the scanner," the guy said. Subway had insisted that, the day before their biggest day of the year (according to Guy), they switch out their card scanners.
"During Mercury in retrograde?" I gasped. "What were they thinking?"
The guy started to dismantle the connection between scanner and cash register. "They're idiots," he muttered. Then he said, "Guess instead of BOGO, you get your sandwich free today."
I thanked him (forgetting that I might have had enough cash in my wallet for the job. Cash? Who uses cash any more?) and went to get my tea.
No tea had been brewed yet. Not unsweet, not even sweet. I settled for some pink chemicals in water that said they contained vitamin C.
So a happy BOGO day to us all!