Anyone have an aspirin?

Today we have a guest-blogger, Lina O'Kelly, from my THREE WORLDS series. She's been wanting to say something that she couldn't (much) in the books. About her: Lina is a telepath and psychic from North Carolina (she was named after the state), and took the first major vacation of her life—pretty much using up her savings—to a South Pacific island only to find herself having to be rescued by Valiant. You all know Valiant, aka Londo Rand: Earth's mightiest (and sexiest) superhero. Now the two seem to be an item, but she says she has problems with that? What do you say to that, Lina?

Problems?! Pardon me if I snort like Sandra Bullock. I got problems on top of problems. And frustration. Yeah, you might make "frustration" number one on my list.

It was all my fault. Well, some of it. I thought those terrorists who had chased us across the island were gone. Lon said they were packing up to go, and he's got that paravision, even if he'd been stripped of the rest of his powers for a couple days. But he was wrong about them and they came back, and now he's lying on a cot, just barely hanging on to life after what they did to him.

Actually, he was fully dead there for a few terrifying minutes.

Okay, he's alive again. But he's pretty much unconscious and we're stuck in this big old laboratory, quarantined on another world. That's right: another world. How was I to know my new teleportation power could stretch that far? I guess time and distance really are human constructs, like so many of those New Agers say. Just as easy to teleport to the other side of the room as it is to port to the other side of the galaxy.

If that's where we are. No one's shown me a map yet.

There are people here who are friends with Londo, and they have powers different from his. One's a scientist and he's looking after Lon, but I'm not really sure just how much of a doctor-doctor he is. Lon's hanging in there, but is that because of his help, or because Lon is Valiant and regaining his invulnerability?

Whichever it is, I wish Lon would get better quick. I've managed to help a little—no, a lot!—with my psychic healing. It's tough to see him lying there all helpless and kinda little boyish. He's so cute. Not frightening at all. You've seen him on the news; he can look really scowly, you know? If I were a crook I'd be scared of him.

But we, well, got to know each other back on that island, if you know what I mean, and (can I tell you this?) we kind of fell in love. And let me tell you, it's terrible to see the man you love struck down and dead. It was like my own soul was sucked out of my body along with him. But it's frustrating to see him just lying there and not be able to hug him or even hold his hand.

'Cause, you see, whenever I touch him his invulnerability goes all to heck. Blooey. Lon's best friend, Jae, says that that could mean big trouble when Londo gets on his feet again. Me, I don't see us ever tangling with criminals together. I'll let Londo be Londo and I'll be glad to wait on the sidelines. What kind of trouble would come looking for me? Jae can be a worrywart.

Add to that: the doctor, Jae and Londo's boss thinks that I'm mind-controlling Valiant. He's trying to construct some big legal case against me, throw me in jail and toss away the key. I don't know any lawyers on this world! Do I look like I have money? Heck, I can't even speak the language! Yet. I'll study that first thing. I don't want to be an embarrassment to Londo.

In the meantime all I have to do is to look at Lon and wish that he was better so, ah, we could continue to get to know each other—very well. That much I can blame on Lon. I was never particularly lascivious. But ever since I met him my hormones have been running amuck. I want to be with him all the time. I want to know everything about him. I want to make him laugh... and other things. It all fills me full of ideas that I've never thought of before.

And that's an entirely new kind of world for me.

Hey—He's stirring. He might need my help. Gotta go.

Thanks, Lina. You can read how she handles all this in Star-Crossed, volume 2 of the Three Worlds series. You can even check out an extensive free excerpt.

"Ohhh, the paaaaiiinnn!"

Remember on Lost in Space (the TV version) when the awful Dr. Smith would react to just about anything not going precisely his way by moaning, "Ohhh, the paaaaiiinnnn!" Even the Robot got tired of it after a while.

Well, I've been moaning internally a lot lately (and not just because poor Obi seems to be on a downswing). Y'see, I've just come out with my latest novel. It's called Star-Crossed, and it's volume 2 of my Three Worlds romantic superhero series.

They say that each book teaches a writer more about writing. This book is teaching me a ton about self-publishing. Oh, the pain!

Well yeah, it'd help if I were a little more awake when formatting. But when you've got a full-time day job, things can get hectic when you hit home.

One of my major stumbling blocks was the tiny fact that Microsoft Word hates me. I change a line of formatting, and an entire page changes. Undo! Undo! The line looks good now, but three lines down the formatting is now off. Repeat an infinite amount of times.

With this book I began at Smashwords, thinking only to publish there since they do all ebook codes (but don't do print books). A week later at a FABULOUS Heart of Carolina Romance Writers meeting, I learned that you want to start with Kindle, Nook and CreateSpace, and then fill in the blanks of distribution with Smashwords. Smashwords also lets you use coupons so you can furnish reviewers with free copies in whatever code they need. I also added Lulu to the list for the "fill in the gaps" for print. Just in case. We'll see how that goes.

Smashwords has this wonderful (free) ebook that details how to format your book. It is 85 pages long. Eight-five freaking pages. They say it'll take about 2 hours to go through, but I discovered that it was more like 6-plus hours. Much of this extra time was needed because, as I said, Word hates me and fought almost every step.

But I got it done. Hooray! Click the final button and it's published! You have to wait another 2 weeks before they'll distribute it to some catalog that goes everywhere, but until then at least it's on their site.

So I published on Lulu—a little trickier because you have to have a back cover and spine there as well, since it's print. Got all that done and ordered my sample copy. (You have to check that everything's right before they'll distribute.) Getting a book from them takes just under 2 weeks, and they're just down the road in Raleigh. Got the book. Horrors! No page numbers! I redid my doc, crossed my fingers, and reordered. This time everything looked fine. Ahhh!

So then I sat down and did everyone else. Buttons pushed. Then the next day when I was awake—ACCCCKKK!!!!

Italics were missing on the final three pages of the story. Somehow things hadn't entirely formatted correctly during the course of all the conversions this particular book went through in the past few years. I corrected those three pages, sent off a couple of corrections, and ACCCKKK! The italic mistakes occurred in other places!

FINALLY got everything done. I hope. Thank you, "Find" function! I may have missed some French words along the way, but the vast majority are correct. All texts have been sent off. I got a note back from CreateSpace that the spine copy needed to be smaller, so I did that as well (haven't heard back yet).

Lessons learned:
My next self-pubbed novel will be Applesauce and Moonbeams, a book I've been trying to sell for about 3 years. When I hear back (WHY don't professionals have the courtesy to send a "no thanks" email instead of silence?), I've gotten comments like, "I love the characters. Great situation! How cute! But sorry, no room on our schedule for this. It's too niche-y."

So this will self-pub. Because it's been so long since I've looked at it, I'll do a complete edit. But first I'll go by CreateSpace's Word template for the document layout if nothing else, strip every last bit of formatting off my Word files and then re-format as I read each word. That way nothing will be overlooked.

My style sheets will be minimalistic: "Chapter Headings," "Body Copy" (with CreateSpace's first line indent measurement) and "Centered" should be all I need. I'll also remember that calling my chapters "Chapter X" instead of just "X" will allow the various systems to recognize a new chapter and set up automatic tables of contents for easy navigation.

And instead of starting off with Lulu's cover instructions, I'll use CreateSpace's handy-dandy template which shows you exactly where everything should be placed.

I'm looking forward to a MUCH easier time self-publishing!

Now all I have to do is get Star-Crossed reviewed somewhere. Recent book marketing courses have furnished acres of review sites, but most don't want ebooks (do I want to pay big bucks to get books printed when my chances of getting reviewed aren't guaranteed? No, sir!) or if they do, are so inundated with requests that they aren't taking any new titles for a long while, and even then, it'lll be at least 6 months before they can get reviewed.

And oh yeah, I've got to update my fiction page tonight with all the right links for buying.

Think I'll take an aspirin or six. Ohhh, the paaaainnn!

Interview with a Super— I mean, Parahero!

I’ve just joined a blog chain! Oh, the wonders of modern technology. The theme for this month:
Have one of your characters, from one of your stories (any! Novel, short, flash…) interview YOU!
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That's right, I'm going to be interviewed by the delectable but sometimes scary Londo Rand, one of the stars of my Three Worlds series. He’s the fella on the cover (see at right) of both vols. 1 and 2. Let me tell you about Lon. He's a parahero (superhero) who stands about six-four or -five, a shade under 30 years old, built like Hercules with a gorgeous-guy-next-door-if-you-live-in-Canada face, and a medium shade of skin so you can't quite tell what ethnicity he is. Black hair, brown eyes. An autocratic nose. Resident of Montreal. Frowns a lot because he's got to let you know he's in charge as if you didn’t realize that already. Lon? You want to begin?

Londo [flipping through book]: Chrisse, I've read this stuff. Pourquoi moi? Why me? Why are you revealing all our secrets?

Carol: Man, you have no idea. I've only begun to peel away your secrets. Be afraid. Be very afraid! Heh heh.

Londo [frowning fiercer]: If you know so much, then you know what happens to people who annoy me. I am the most powerful man on Earzh, and I'm not afraid to use my strength! I could fly you over a volcano, or into the heart of a tornado and—

Carol: Ahh, you're one of the good guys. You only bash the really bad folks. Though there are things coming up that you do that might make others think less of you.

Londo: Not listening! I don't want to know!

Carol: That’s right; you don't. Heh.

Londo: D'accord, let's get to something I've been wondering about. Am I really Superman with a different name?

Carol: Golly day, no! When I was a kid I read every Superman comic there was. He had some good stories, but mostly he was a pompous bore.

Londo: A bore? [He begins to pace. Uh oh!]

Carol: I like the way you say that, like Louis Jourdan in Gigi. "Eet's a booore!" By the time I got into him, Superman had taken the Superman-Clark-Lois triangle that had been so important to his legend and run it dry. Now he was out to portray women as being inferiors and pathetic—which most of 'em in his book were. It was awful! These days Superman's worried about how big his— I mean, how strong he is. He makes sure he's stronger than everyone else. Fight, fight, fight; bash, bash, bash. That's boring to the ultimate degree.

Londo [suddenly stops pacing]: And I am not!

Carol [quickly!]: Absolutely! You've got depth. And, if you don't mind me saying so, sexiness out the wazoo. I based you on another character, a favorite of mine who lives in Superman's universe though he's somewhat obscure, and combined you with yet another character whom I also found fascinating. That one's not so obscure, but people won't guess who he is. Then I looked over the Three Worlds series, what it needed as its lead characters, and adjusted the amalgam to fit smoothly into that world. You're quite your own man now.

Londo [looking smug]: I always thought I was.

Carol: Of course you are. You've got the biggest eg— I mean, the best sense of self-esteem anyone's ever seen. (Maybe a little too much sometimes.) Unlike your girlfriend, Lina, who's at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Londo: Tais-toi! Don't you say anything bad about her.

Carol: I'm not, I'm not. She's got a long character arc to go through. We need to see her grow as the series progresses, and she can't complete her journey too quickly. Believe me: she winds up a long way from how she started. Touch of Danger got her through one major phobia, and now Star-Crossed has her working past another two. By the end of the book, she's ready to really incorporate herself into a world she'd previously been cut completely from.

From there she starts to build her personality. She has to become a leader, even a world(s) leader. (Isn't it great how I can incorporate parentheses even though I'm talking?) She's actually Wonder Woman, though not even Time-Warner's best lawyers could ever make a court believe that. She'll ultimately incorporate the important Wondie themes and goals within herself. I can't help it. I'm semi-obsessed with Wonder Woman, even in these dark days. But don't get me started on that!

Londo: How about me?

Carol: Lina's the primary star of the series. But you're still the alpha dog, the champion. You grow, but in other ways. I'm not telling you. You need to be surprised.

Londo: So what’s all this “parahero” stuff? You have something against the word “superhero”?

Carol: Actually, “superhero” is trademarked by Marvel and DC Comics. Check Wiki if you don’t believe me, though the term is also generic. So confusing! But I don’t want to chance getting into legal trouble. It costs too much to get out of. Say, how’s about buying a book or two? Just in case, I mean, so I can get a little additional revenue. You make a lot of money; the Terran Paranorm Network pays you bucketloads, and you also get a hefty salary from the Affiliated Systems Mega-Force Legion. People who save the world on a regular basis deserve that kind of wage. I can write you up for a couple hundred cases right now, no prob. You use Paypal? You need any paintings, too? I've got some you’ll like.

Londo: Hmm.... I read a bit of this book—Star-Crossed—before it became too unsettling. Bloodthirsty, aren't you? There's a bunch of mushy stuff in it as well. Romance. I take it this is one of those chick books. Are you hinting that there's a "happily ever after" at the end?

Carol: There are a bunch of, as we call 'em, HEAs in the series. This particular volume has a very nice one—but I'm afraid it also has a cliff-hanger. Couldn't be avoided. It's the only one in the series, if that helps. But the series is a collection of adventure story arcs starring you, Lina, your best friend Jae, and the people around you as they progress through the years. Each of the arcs does indeed have that HEA, but "ever after" might only last as long as the next arc's first complication. You understand?

Londo: Certainement. I know writing. When I'm not Earth's greatest hero, I like to write children's books.

Carol: Well, not quite yet. But it's coming. I've got one I'm writing as well. I'll be using a nom de plume since I don't want the kiddies to accidentally run into your series, which has a lot of adult material in it. Though it's not hard-core. Mostly. You'll be using a nom de plume, too.

Londo: Mais oui. That makes it more fun! I like wearing an eyepatch and pirate “Cap’n Miller” disguise for the publicity shots. Arr!

Carol: Fun's what it's all about, isn't it? I hope that between the sci fi action and desperation—

Londo: And mushy stuff?

Carol: And that, yes, that you find you're having a lot of fun in these books. And that the readers do as well.

Londo: So do I. Or there still might be a tornado out there with your name on it. Uh oh—there's my alert signal. Gotta go save the world.

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Thanks, Lon, for stopping by. Now for everyone else: Check over there on the right for a cover you can click on to link to Star-Crossed’s page on my website, which gives you a link to Smashwords for the ebook version. You can read 1/15th of the book for FREE there and see if you want to spring for it. If you prefer print, you’ll find a link to Lulu. (Links are available for vol. 1, Touch of Danger, as well. Touch is published in all formats by Ellora's Cave Blush.)

ANNOUNCEMENT: As long as I have visitors here today, I’d like to say that I’m going to start doing a one-hour “Ask the Psychic” event on my Pro Facebook page, on or about every 16th of the month. Stop by my page to find details and ask a question!
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Full list of blog chain participants:

Aimee Laine: http://www.aimeelaine.com/blog/
Lyla Dune: http://lyladune.com/blog.html

Carol Strickland: http://carolastrickland.blogspot.com/

Amy Corwin: http://amycorwin.blogspot.com/

Lilly Gayle: http://www.lillygayleromance.blogspot.com/

Rebekkah Niles: http://juturnafaerthing.blogspot.com/

Laura Browning: http://www.laurabrowningbooks.blogspot.com/

Andris Bear: http://andrisbear.wordpress.com/

Marcia Colette: http://marciacolette.wordpress.com/

Nancy Badger: http://www.nancylennea-inlove.blogspot.com

Sarah Mäkelä: http://blog.sarahmakela.com

Jennifer Harrington: http://www.romanceadventures.blogspot.com/

Scott Berger: http://romanticadventurestories.wordpress.com/